Dreaming, and believing.

I wrote this a while ago. Haven't edited it, so it's kinda crude. I still remember writing it at around 6 am or something. The movie Rise of the Guardians triggered the following explosion of subtle emotions. 

Today I realized just how much importance I’ve always given to dreams.

If not for them, I wouldn’t be here, typing this with a slightly runny nose cuz all of a sudden I feel kinda emotional.

Epiphanies, what the hell can’t they do.

It’s as if I’m suspended in the night-sky, surrounded by hundreds of glowing tendrils of golden sand that are swirling around me, blinding me with their light, the only light I’m aware of, and they just… plunge into my heart. Becoming my life source…

And that’s all I know. They’ve kept me alive all these years. I’ve had my bad days and sad times, but as long as there’s even a tiny wisp of that light? I sure as hell am not going anywhere. Nor will I ever get lost. 

My sole link to positivity and optimism in a world that has devastated and wrecked my life… 

I think this is my center. Like Santa Claus’s center is ‘wonder’ that he’s spreading in the world, like Jack Frost’s is ‘fun’, maybe… Just maybe… My center is… hope? 

The liveliness, the hope my dreams instill me with is so powerful I can almost feel my heart and mind thrum with energy.

I honestly feel like the Aurora a.k.a Northern Lights. Bright dancing lights, result of electrically charged particles colliding. What a sight! Sigh. I wish I could see them. Performing in the sky… Filling joy and wonder in the beholder.

I wish I could BE something like the Aurora, I really do.

But the closest I’ve ever been to being like it is when that thrumming… That thrumming becomes so loud, I feel like I’m gonna burst. But what happens instead is the reverse-action-play of the golden tendrils plunging into my heart. They plunge out of it. Reaching out, breathing in all they’ve gotta help me repair.

Repair what, you ask? Repair my life and loved ones, after all we’ve gone through together, there’s one thing I’m certain of - They’re all I’ve got, and I’m all they’ve got.

I can touch the darkest pits of melancholy and still be back with cheery fireworks. But I don’t think they can. They’ve suffered more than me. While I can put up a convincing mask of being okay, I can see through their pretense, stare in disbelief at their crumbling hope…

I have no other source of strength than these dreams and my friends’ support. While the former seem to be the solution to everything, the latter assure me it’s achievable. 

So glad I never gave up dreaming,

So glad I never let go of hope.

Every time I flailed in the pits of darkness,

These aspirations rescued me like a rope.

From wishing to soar past stars to touch that glowing moon when I was a kid …

Maybe it wasn’t me soaring past them, maybe it was just my imagination and fragments of a free-spirited soul. Maybe I didn’t so far as near the moon, just wrote songs about it, felt it so close to my heart that I cried from joy. No, I’m not a fanatic. I’m just a person to whom freedom, the nature, and little things that give you happiness mean a lot.

So, yeah, in someway or the other I’ve been living my dreams. Because when you believe in something, you ALWAYS find a way to accomplish it. :)

I dreamed, believed, and lived. I dream, believe, and live. And I shall dream, believe, and live.

Always and forever.

Lots of wishing stars,

SFF :) <3